Today is the day that no one in my family is really looking forward to. It's been a year since our sweet Lydia has gone to be with Jesus. It's a day that as a family, we are facing together and knowing that Jesus is our strength through it all. I have learned more things from that little girl than from anyone that I have ever known. People can tell you things until you are blue in the face, but when you experience them, it becomes a whole new world. I realize that today (and for the past year), I have had a choice. I can either choose to mourn my niece and question why she isn't here. Or, I can rejoice in the fact that I had a chance to know her and be so thankful for all the things that I have seen Jesus do through her. It's amazing how easy it is to allow satan to pull me into the mourning and questioning God. It can be VERY hard! But in the end, from day to day, I trust Jesus to pick me up and hold me when I have those hard moments.

Today...today my heart aches. My heart hurts. My heart is sad. It was today a year ago that I got that dreaded phone call while I was on my break at work. The phone call that I had dreaded for 8 months and 8 days. It's today that brings back a week of hard times with my family. Let me say though, that even though I miss Lydia, and I miss visiting her, and bringing her cupcakes, and holding her while she seizures, and listening to her noises, and taking her for walks, and helping her eat...I WILL rejoice. Jesus has used her in incredible ways. My heart aches for my brother and sister, but I pray that today they can rejoice as well.

Earlier this year I was on a retreat with my youth group and the band there played this song. I have been going over it and over it in the past week and I thought about this sweet girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo9SrV2KOV0

please watch this video, it's incredible.

In memory of this sweet girl, I am going to run another triathlon this year. This year Scott and I are running it together to celebrate the life that Jesus has given us.

Today, and everyday, I remember that Lydia is made new and rejoicing with Jesus!

So it's been quite some time since I have ventured onto blogging but I decided that today is a good day to do it. Today, as my husband kindly shared, I am now closer to 50 than I am to being a newborn. It's been a good day of movies, scrap booking, showering, washing the inside of my refrigerator, and of course grocery shopping with coupons. It's been a good day to sit back and see how good Scott and I have it. Definitely not because of our own doings, but because of the life that we live in Jesus and the comfort that we find in Him alone.

In the last year Scott and I have realized that money is just not a fun thing. No matter how hard we work, it seems like there is more going out than coming in. We sat down and realized that there were necessities, niceties, and frivolities. We decided to cut out the last two to try to see if we could really manage this whole living and owning a house and not being at camp. The reason that I share this, is because it is a testament to our Jesus. He has provided for our EVERY need. We have been able to save up some money and do some things that we never thought possible. God has been so good to us. There was a few months ago that Scott and I had both been running around like a chicken without our heads. At one point we sat down and said, "wouldn't it be nice to go on a date together someday again". The very next day, a gift certificate showed up in our mailbox at church. It was that moment, that I knew that God was going to provide for our needs, as long as we remained faithful. It's the small things that sometimes just blow my mind.

So as a wife sitting at home on my birthday, I want to also share another moment where God has been so faithful. We have hopes and dreams, like any family, and we want so badly to be able to do some of those things. On Friday, Scott called me at work (this is never a good thing) and he said, "Liz, I got the promotion". I don't think I have ever been so proud of my husband. He god a promotion at work.

God is so good.

God is so faithful.

As I was saying to some of the teens at church last night.

Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death (or sitting alone at a lunch table to a kid in jr. high) I will fear NO evil because Jesus is with me!